My friend Mike & I have your average, run-of-the-mill day jobs, just like the next fella. I happen to be a youth pastor and he’s a well-groomed friendly Starbucks barista across town. We both love what we do for a living. But, ever since either of us can recall, we’ve had this secret dream to see our passion for Valentines Day greeting card authorship recognized (if not well-respected) by the masses.
And so, every year, just before that fateful cupid-collaborative February holiday, we painstakingly pull together our year’s best musings on life, love & lationships and, with all the vulnerable courage we can muster, we ship our delicate brain-babies off to Hallmark. And every year…just past V-Day, we discover (to our dismay) that our submissions have again been rejected.
Now, we know some of our ideas are a bit “non-traditional”; a bit “out of the box” to say the least. But we strongly feel like the cards readily available off the rack today are just too generic. They’re not specific enough to really speak to the diverse sea of thoughts, feelings, and situations actual people are facing out there. And, let’s face it, if you can’t buy a card with what you need to say already printed on the inside, you’re pretty much never going to be able to communicate it. Period. That’s just the world we live in.
But, sadly, Hallmark just doesn’t seem to have a vision for our work. We, however, feel like we’ve got some real potential here, which is why we’ve decided to release our 2010 love drafts to you online, allowing you, the purchasing public, to be the judge & jury.
The Cards:
Cover: Please know that I love you. I’m just not the kind of guy that would write you a poem, a song, or an extensive love letter. It’s just not me.
Inside: Not because I don’t want to do these things, but because I’m illiterate. I never learned to read or write.
Cover: If you got in a horrible accident and could never use your legs again, I want you to know that I would still love you and stay by your side.
Inside: But, I only think it’s fair that we both get electric wheel chairs. Because they’re awesome and you shouldn’t get to have all that fun for yourself.
Cover: Our love is so true, I just know we’ll be together forever.
Inside: That is…unless someone better comes along.
Cover: I’m not one of those guys who’d ever break up with his girlfriend on Valentines Day. That’s just heartless.
Inside: Now you know why I wanted you to wait an extra day to open this card. Consider yourself dumped.
Cover: Girl, I can’t even describe just how much I love you.
Inside: Because I don’t. I never have.
Cover: You know I would never do anything to hurt you.
Inside: Which is why, even though I know you’re not the one for me, I will never break up with you. Ever.
Cover: It’s not you. It’s just that I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be in a relationship right now…with anyone.
Inside: Please consider this your official notification that I am now dating your best friend. What kind of flowers did you say she liked again? Also, if you could let me know by 3pm, that’d be great.
Do you plan to keep this site updated? I sure hope so… its great!
my favorite one is the one about the electric wheelchairs! when i first saw it i started cracking up!:}
my least favorite was the one where the guy breaks up with the girl the day after valentines day! Thats just wrong!:(
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